Family & Friends
There is no such thing as the perfect family so whatever family troubles you are going through always remember that you are not alone.
This section of the website will talk about a wide range of family issues:
- Pushy Parents
- Sibling Rivalry
- Divorce
- Being Apart of a Step-Family
- Coping With Being Fostered
- Adoption
- Abuse
Our friends can often be our family too but all friends (no matter how great) will have their ups and downs. This section will talk about;
- Making Friends
- When Friendships Turn Bad
FAMILY
"Family is just accident...They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't even mean to be your family, they just are."
Marsha Norman
How to get through those nasty arguments:
Arguments are to be expected amongst family members so the best thing to do is try and prepare yourself for tough situations.
If an argument turns into a screaming match you can often feel more wound up and frustrated than before the fight. We all need to shout sometimes but it's not really the best way to win an argument.
Pick your argument. We're never going to get everything our way all the time so pick what battles you really want to win, and compromise on the others.
Keep Calm. Try to keep as calm as you can during an argument. One good way of doing this is by slowing your speech right down. It will make you sound clearer & it will give you time to organise your thoughts so that you're more able to say how you really feel.
Be honest. Lying to someone shows a lack of respect. Show maturity and treat others the way you would like to be treated in return. The truth almost always comes out anyway, and when it does you normally get into even more trouble than you were in in the first place!
Try to be understanding. Alot of the time family members argue because they are trying to do the best for you. You may not like what they are saying but maybe it is good long-term advice.
Siblings
You have lived with your brother and/or sister day-in-day-out for forever. They are the people you know the best, for better and (more often) for worse. No one expects you to get along with them all the time.
Even so, it can be really hurtful when you do have a falling out with them and if it is happening alot it can be very draining so here is advice on how to make the most of your situation...
Divorce
Stepfamilies
I think by now we all know that there is no 'normal' family but just in case I'll say it again...there is no such thing as a 'normal' family!!
Becoming part of a step family can be a difficult and confusing time for everyone involved.
Some problems you might have with it are:
- your mum or dad have got a new partner in their life when you're not ready to move on
- this might leave you feeling left out and ignored.
- or it could leave you feeling guilting because you think you're betraying your other parent.
- it is also hard seeing your mum/dad becoming close with their new partner's children
We've tried to keep it positive when talking about family problems but we all know how intense and upsetting it can get when you are living at home with people you aren't getting along with, or with people you have nothing in common.
There are people out there to help you & your family if things get too much, don't suffer in silence:
Family Mediation Highland
FRIENDS
"Friends are God's apology for relations."
Hugh Kingsmill
Making New Friends
For some people making new friends is really easy, for others it is one of the hardest and scariest things they'll have to do. For those of you who find it hard it isn't because you aren't as nice or friendly a person, it is more likely because you find it difficult to make conversation with new people.
Be honest with yourself and others. Don't say things and act in a certain way just because you think people will like you for it.
Try to be relaxed. Even if you are wracked with nerves at the thought of having to speak to new people try to at least look like your relaxed. Making eye contact and smiling at the people you are speaking to can help ease along a conversation. Most of the time everyone is just as nervous when talking to new people so making them feel welcomed will make them more open to you.
Listen. When people talk to you they like to know that you are genuinely interested in them. They might not be talking about something that interests you alot but understand that it means alot to them.
Friendship Troubles
Our friends, like our family, are the people we know the best which means that we are often the people to sees their worst sides, and vice versa.
If you aren't getting along with you friend(s) as well as you normally do then here are a few things you can do to try and build up your friendship again.
Try something new. Find out what different activities are going on in your are and suggest to your friend(s) that you do something new together. This could even mean going to the cinema or out to see a band play. It can stop you feeling like you only do the same things week-in week-out and it will give you all something new to talk about!
Go it alone. If your friends aren't interested in doing something that you want to try then do not be afraid of going to it by yourself. It's a great way to meet new people. It can make you feel more confident as you'll be developing new skills and interests, and it can give you and your friends an excuse for some much needed breathing space!
My Best Friend
All friends will argue & fall out with each other at one point or another. If arguments with your friends are rare then the problems you have with one another can normally be sorted out quite easily.
If you are arguing more often than not though it could be time for you to have a good think about why you are friends, and whether or not your friendship is for the best?
The End of a Friendship
Just like relationships, friendships sometimes naturally come to an end. As people grow older they can also grow apart from their friends. If this is the case for you then it can be an upsetting time for you but it's not the end of the world by far.
